3344 M&W - Missed Class

Last week I got really sick with the Flu so I stayed home, tuesday I was cleared to come back; however, wednesday I ended up sleeping in. I heard we were suppose to bring in 5 items that represent different things, since I wasn't in class I thought I would tell you what they are.



More precious then gold: My family



Something that makes me warm: These little cut out hearts my best friend gave me..



Something from Long ago: I am not a keeper of things nor do I care for many objects but my father kept this music box that I got when I was born, I don't have it but I have a picture of it.



Something that makes me Laugh and something that makes me Cry: The guy in the picture thats posted on this blog. He makes me laugh a lot yet I also cry because of him.. hah.. That one was hard cause I rarely cry so trying to find something wasn't easy.



It's hard to say which one is my fondest memory, I don't really choose to think of things that way. I guess though the one that makes me sigh when I think about it is the one that makes me Cry. His name is Sean, the guy in the picture with me, he is younger then I am but we have been friends now for a year and a half, and work together. Thats actually how we met, sometimes I wonder if it was good that we ever did, but at the same time I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't remember when it happen, but some where down the path I fell in love with him, decided that I needed him to know to let him decide what he wanted; however, this back fired on me because he was already aware of it, and wanted the topic to not come up again. I couldn't understand why, then I realized that it's because he didn't feel the same for me and it hurt, but what hurt the most is he knew my feelings yet continued acting like we always did, which everyone thought we were dating if that gives you an image of how we acted. It hurt so slowly I started to pull away, and he would do things to ensure our continued close friendship, when I asked him why he kept trying to keep me close when he didn't want me as his girlfriend he simply said that I should let my feelings for him go, but that he needed me to be the way we have been because he loves me. That made me cry so hard, for one he was telling me that he loved me but not the way I wanted him to and because of that I needed to pretend my feelings didnt matter that way we could still be the way we have been before I started to care more then I should. I hate crying and I hate seeing people cry it annoys me and I hate girls that cry over a guy, but that day I realized sometimes you can't help it the emotions and hurt you feel are sometimes to much, and crying is the only release. I am currently his friend but because of the way things have gone and the feelings I still can't seem to change I made our friendship change, much to his disappointment but I try in some areas to pretend things are the same even though I know they aren't. However, I think he will always be my fondest memory this one especially because it allowed me to see the prejudices I had been harboring...